The bright shining soul
by Amu4ever
Summary: I always tried to be good. To help others. To be the perfect little daughter. So why don't they come for me? Why am I still lonely. It's dark. So very dark. It's getting colder and colder as the seconds go by. I slowly get numb as I try to ignore the mocking image in front of me...why? oh why...? SM owns everything except the plot. Rated M for later chapters!
1. Lonely

Hehe…so I won't tell you the pairing right from the start. Don't worry you will figure it out soon.

But I will tell you one thing: It will be a pairing, that is not really common and in my opinion totally underappreciated.

So have fun reading.

Updated: 28/08/2014

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><p><em>I am lonely…so very lonely.<em> _Why is no one here….Why am I all alone? Do they not care about me? Don't they need me like I need them? Don't they want me? But why? _

_So lonely…I am so very lonely. It's freezing cold here and it's dark. Too dark. I am afraid. I feel like someone is watching me and nobody is here to protect me. **They** are not here to protect me. But why? Why? What did I do wrong? Why am I not good enough? Why won't they come for me? _

_I am a good girl always tried to help others and help wherever I could. I never had a childhood or at least not for long. As soon as we left my father I couldn't be a child any longer. I needed to act like the mother. Care for my mother and protect her like she was supposed to do for me. But she didn't. Never did. Lonely…so lonely…_

_Why are they not here to take care of me? Why don't they hold me in their arms telling me, that everything is going to be fine? Why am I alone? Am I not good enough? _

_I went to my father to help my mother be happy. I gave my own happiness for hers. Left all my friends behind. Everyone I knew there. I was happy to see my father again sure, but to be completely honest I only did it for her. I only went to him for her. Like I always did. Always trying to be good. To help. To be the perfect little daughter. _

_So why don't they come for me? Why am I still lonely. It's dark. So very dark. It's getting colder and colder as the seconds go by. But it doesn't matter. Nothing matters. Because the intense feeling of loneliness is slowly taking over. Freezing me in place and makes me curl even further into myself. It's so cold and it still gets colder. I slowly begin to get numb. Trying to look away from the mocking image in front of me. Their beautiful smiles and outstretched hands are not really there. I know this. Had to learn it the hard way. The image is just mocking me. Trying to get me to touch it only for it to vanish afterwards. I can't bear it…it's so cold …I am so lonely…where are they? _

_Where are you? Please come…come and save me…I am so lonely so afraid…Please…PLEASE! __**I need you! PLEASE!**__...please…oh…__**please**__…_


	2. My little secret

Thanks Babysis34 your review really motivated me. So here is the next chapter as a big Thank you for your encouraging words :)

Have fun reading everyone =)

Updated: 18/05/2014

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><p>I wake up to the steady sound of beeping. I am still tired and my fussy mind can't comprehend, what is going on around me. I feel numb. Not like the kind of numb when you sit too long. Neither the feeling you get after being outside for too long, no just a prickling numbness. I listen to the beeping as I slowly get the feeling back into my limbs. I am still too tired to move so it doesn't matter for now. I hear a door opening and footsteps approaching me. Someone is standing beside me rustling with something and then I am back in the blackness from before.<p>

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><p>The next time I wake up I can feel my limbs. Painfully so. I am aching all over and I have a burning headache. And again there is the beeping sound. Slowly I try to open my eyes and after the third try I finally manage to do so. At the beginning everything seems blurred together before my eyes focus again. I look around confused. I am in a completely white room. Machines are standing beside me. The beeping sound obviously coming from a heart monitor, which is right beside the bed I am lying in. But how did I get here? And even more important, why did I even need to get here?<p>

Blinking confused I try to remember, what happened, but I come up with a blank. Still too tired to really gain enough focus to be able to really think back. Sighing I close my eyes again waiting for sleep to take my body under control again. Just as I am on the edge of falling asleep and my breathing starts to even out I hear the door to my room open again. Forcing myself to stay awake I open my eyes again looking at the blonde doctor, who is smiling down at me.

"Oh…good to see, that you are finally awake. My name is Dr. Carlisle Cullen and I am your doctor. How do you feel?" Too tired to speak for a long period of time I only say, that I am fine and only have a slight headache and feel generally a bit achy and wait for his reaction.

He nods and writes something in my file before looking up again. "You are most likely quiet confused right now and probably even have problems recollecting, what happened. But don't worry, this is only temporary. You will be able to remember everything just fine as soon as you have slept for some time." He comes over to the bed I am lying in and busies himself with the machines for some time before turning back to me. "We found you in an ally covered in bruises, cuts and hypothermic. You were lucky, that someone found you and called the ambulance in time. Otherwise lasting damage could have been done." He looks at the file again and then back up to my face. "Rest for a while. Your body still needs to recover." I close my eyes again not certain when I opened them in the first place. I let my thoughts drift as I slowly near dreamland. Hmmm…I am really curious to hear the answer to the question, how I got into the ally before I was found.

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><p>Bright light welcomes me as I open my eyes the next time. Wincing I furrow my brows trying to adjust my eyes to the light. I look out of the window seeing that the bright light is surprisingly coming from the clouded sky. So I was out for at least several hours considering the only sources of light at that time were the lambs above me. I concentrate on my body and systematically try to move my limbs one after another. Finally sighing in relief after realizing that nothing is broken and that moving only hurts a little. Probably just bruises and cuts like the doctor said. Nothing serious. Except for hypothermia, which was just a problem at the time they found me and not anymore. I will probably get out of the hospital in no time at all. Just as I was thinking that came into the room again. The soft smile on his lips like the last times I saw him. "So, Miss, do you remember everything again?"<p>

I think about it for a moment before nodding. "Yeah. I remember walking along the street on my way to the grocery store. As you probably know I only came to Forks a few days ago and so I wanted to look around the town and get a few things for supper for the evening. Charlie, my father, was not at home at that time and still isn't, because he needed to meet with a friend out of town, who had an urgent matter he required his help with. As I was just around the corner to the shop I intended to go to someone put his hand on my mouth from behind and dragged me into an ally. I tried to escape his grasp and kicked him, but not before he was able to put a tissue with some substance over my mouth and nose, which let me feel dizzy. I still managed to defend myself pretty well until he suddenly ran away after he heard people approaching. I remember, that he worried for nothing since the people just went by without noticing me, but then I was on the floor. After that everything got fuzzy." He nods again and tells me, that I will be released from the hospital the next day.

The next morning the sky is as cloudy as ever and I slowly change into normal clothes again the heart machine gone since a long time ago. I go out of my room and to the nurse station to fill out the necessary papers before going out of the hospital. As I walk outside and start on my way home I think about the lies I told Carlisle. I feel guilty. Oh so guilty for not telling him everything.

_But then again I didn't want to tell him. Still don't want to. It's going to be a secret. My little secret…they are my little secret…just mine…__**forever**__…_


	3. Dreaming about you

So here is a chapter I put an extra portion of creativity and devotion into!**  
><strong>

I hope you will enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed to write it :)

Thanks for the reviews!

And now have fun!

Updated: 18/05/2014

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><p><em>Gentle fingers are caressing my skin. I can feel the continuing stroking in every cell of my body. The rhythmical movement relaxing me completely. Soft whispers fill my ear as loving words are purred directly to my heart. A warm feeling spreads through me as my love and devotion for this hands, this voice, this person rise in unknown highs. A chaste kiss is planted on my head as I am pulled into a strong embrace. Feeling relaxed and hundred percent content I lean into the hug. Wanting more of the heat to envelop my body. I feel safe. So safe. I want to stay here in this arms. Near this voice.<em>

_The scent of grass and flowers overwhelms my senses as I try to cuddle deeper into this strong arms. Birds are singing their beautiful songs in the background as I try to take in as much as possible of this situation. So I will be able to remember even the smallest detail. There is the sound of wind slowly caressing trees and I can even hear the sound of flowing water in the distance. Soothing me as I lie on the floor with the arms still around me. Warmth flows through me as I lie there on the ground letting sunbeams caress my body. A gentle touch to my face gaines my attention as I slowly open my eyes. I blink a few times against the bright sun light before looking up in the even brighter eyes of **them**. _

_A gentle smile graces my lips as I look up at their smiling faces. My whole surrounding getting even brighter at their enlightening happy faces. They are always so beautiful when they smile. It's like seeing the first rays of sunlight in the morning or stars at an especially clear night. Their whole posture talks about love and absolute bliss. I look into their eyes again immediately captured by the fascinating sparkle in them. Their eyes are so very different and still similar. _

_I look down from their faces to their outstretched hands. I look up to see them suddenly standing in front of me. Their hands still outstretched to me. Their skin still shining brightly. I hold my hand out slowly moving it centimeter for centimeter closer to them. I stop just before touching them. I know, what will follow, but I still can't resist. I look up to their loving eyes before closing the distance between our hands. I feel their hands in mine and then….nothing. They are gone. Leave me alone…alone…alone…alone..._

I startle awake with tears streaming down my cheeks. I curse as I whip the cold sweat from my forehead. I know, what happened. I know it just too good. The oh-so-familiar feelings start to rush through me as I remember the same dream, that has kept me awake for months now. It is always the same. **They** are always the same. The beautiful creatures, that not only haunt me in dreamland, but also when awake. Their soft features are always there as soon as I close my eyes. Like their faces have been printed on the inside of my lids. It's a sweet torture really. Seeing them all the time, but not being able to touch them, hold them, feel them. It's kind of ridiculous, how much I miss them without having met them once. Except for all this times I have seen them in my dreams of course.

I think back to my latest encounter with them. It gets clearer…it has gone clearer for some time now. Every night I can see a bit more, feel a bit more or even hear a bit more. It's always a similar scene, but it gets more intense with every day. Since my time in the hospital I can barely think about anything, but them. The problem with this is, that I know it is not like it seems. It's not just a dream. They are not just a dream. Not part of my imagination at all. Neither are most of my previous dreams.

I have figured out at a young age, that I am "special". I have abilities others haven't. Like this "dreams" for example. Whatever happens in my dreams tends to happen in reality too. This good things as well as the bad ones, but they don't always happen in the same order or the same way. I found out about that after an unpleasant event in my childhood. Since then I always listen to my dreams. Try to figure out, what they mean and prepare for it. It's not always easy, but I manage. But this one dream was different. I knew immediately, what it meant. I need to find them. They need to find me. Because we belong together. Are meant to be. Our fate is entangled together as we share the same future. I close my eyes letting the same words flood my mind as on the night I first awoke from this dream.

_They are my mates as I am theirs.  
>Never alone after we begin to share<em>.

No need to search to be found.  
>My heartbeat will be their souls only sound.<p>

And should it stop then I won't whine,  
>because blood will be my delicious wine.<p>

We shall be together and never apart,  
>so it may beat the unbeating heart.<p> 


	4. Sweet, sweet honey

So guys here is my longest chapter so far!

I hope you are going to **enjoy it!**

Oh and the whole story is **unbetad**!

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><p>I slowly stretch as I enjoy the sun beams on my face. It's such a nice warm feeling. I stand up and make my way through my daily morning routine. As I finish my breakfast I look outside the window. I can see a brown blur disappearing in the woods. <em>Jacob<em>. A smile spreads on my face as I watch the wolf reappear only to disappear again. _Hmm…_

I tilt my head to the side and watch the wolf repeat the same movement over and over.  
>Before finally disappearing completely from view. <em>How strange…<em>

Deciding that he won't come back I stand up and go fetch my bag. I walk up the stairs and let my eyes wander as I go. It has been some time since I have been released from the hospital now. I haven't been in school yet since my father insisted, that I should rest some more.

I frown as I remember his reaction. He was so worried about me. I still feel guilty for worrying him, even though I know I couldn't have helped it. I stop as I reach the room Charlie has given to me. It's the same one I used to sleep in when I was younger. I like it. It's all nice and comfortable. Has everything I need and I can look at the forest from my window.

Don't get me wrong, I don't like Forks all that much. It's too rainy and too cold. I miss the sun and the hot days in Arizona, but it can't be helped. I promised to come here and I wouldn't destroy the sweet little bubble,that Renèe managed to build up by going back. She was so happy with Phil. I don't want to take that from her. Not for anything. She deserves to be happy, even if that means that I am not…

A slow smile spread across my face as I see my notebook lying on the desk. It's my most treasured possession. Not because of the book itself, but because of the content. Every time I have a new dream of **them**I write it in my notebook. I always make sure to add the date to each entry so that I can see, if they get more frequent. I can remember the first time I saw them so clearly. I was just a child then, but my feelings were the same. When I told my mother about the dreams she smiled at me and gave me my notebook. She said, that I should write everything in there, because maybe the dreams were more than I thought they were. I didn't understand, what she meant at that time, but I took it seriously. I was certain, that it was important since my mother spoke seriously, which was highly uncommon for her. I smile again as I think of my highly flighty mother. I love her. I really do, but sometimes I really wish she could be a little more serious once in a while.

I press the notebook to my chest and quickly put it into my bag. Letting my fingers caress the cover one more time. It is a beautiful book with a clearing as a cover. A bright lively forest surrounds the clearing emphasizing the beautiful flowers in the middle even more. I loved it at first sight. My mother once told me, that it was a unique cover made by an unknown artist. She said one of her artist friends found it and gave it to her as a present. It was quite an old notebook, but that only gave it more character. I look at it for one last time before closing my bag and going downstairs fetching the keys and my jacket on the way to the door. I swiftly put my jacket on to shield me from the rain before I look up into the sky. It rains. What a way to start a day. I sigh before turning around and making my way to my new truck. I throw my bag on the passenger seat before climbing into the car and closing the door behind me.

The road is completely empty as I drive in silence. I carefully look around so that I don't miss the sign for my school. Not that it was possible to get lost in this little town, but I was careful to make sure I didn't need to drive back. I glance from the road to the cloudy sky and sigh again. It's really depressing, that it had to rain on the first day I went to school. As if the stares, that would surely come, weren't bad enough. I shudder as I think about all these unwanted attention, I was going to be showered with. So many prying eyes, that would try to figure out all my secrets. All my flaws. I shudder again. Oh how I despised to be the 'new girl'. It has never brought me anything good. It always just means being stared at as if I was an alien or a freak of some sort. I shudder again as I realize, that it's going to be so much worse to be the 'new girl' in a small town like Forks. Probably they had rarely transfer students, if ever at all. Most likely the only transfers they had, where from Forks to other cities.

I take in a slow breath as I drive onto the small parking area and find myself a spot as far away from the other cars as possible. I close my eyes for a moment preparing myself for the horrors that are going to await me on the other side of the door. I step out of the car and open my eyes just to find myself mesmerized with the beautiful individuals, that are on the other side of the parking lot. They lean against a silver Volvo and talk quietly to each other. As I take a step away from the car I can see them looking at me and freeze. I carefully look over their faces. There is a blond beauty at the right side of the car, who glares at me indifferently. Beside her there is a bear of a human his eyes warm and a grin on his lips as he says something to the beauty beside him. In front of the passenger side of the car there is a man with reddish hair his eyes are drawn together in a frown. He looks confused and says something to the others, who look in my direction too. I let my eyes wander again until they rest on a small petite woman with short brown hair. She looks at me with venomous eyes before tugging on the sleeve of someone beside her. I can't see him, because the car is blocking my few, but a see a bit of blonde hair waving in the wind. I look at it with unfocused eyes. This hair reminds me of something. I stare for a few more moments before I am harshly brought out of my musing by flashlights in front of my eyes. I blink and look down at an overly enthusiastic guy.

"Hey! My name is Eric Yorkie. I am part of the newspaper club at our school. Your photo is going to be on the front page of the next example. Finally something new after all this boring stuff we had to write about! You don't mind do you?"

Without waiting for an answer he tugs on my hand and drags me towards the entrance of the school.

"I can just see it in front of me a huge article just about you. Our new transfer student and how she came to Forks. It's going to be so amazing."

"Umm…hello I am Bella and no newspaper article please. I don't want to be in your school paper."

I see his face fall as I am finally able to blink the stars away. Eric has short dark hair and a bright smile on his face. He is just a bit taller than me and holds his camera tight in his clutch.

"Not even one photo?"

I shake my head as he looks depressed for a moment. Than his face brightens again.

"I know! Can I show you around the school? I can introduce you to the other students on the way. That's not going to be a problem, is it?"

He looks at me hopefully and I sigh. Accepting his offer. I loop back to the parking area as we climb the stairs and listen to Eric only with half an ear. I nod absent-mindedly and exchange pleasantries as he introduces me to some students. Mike for example. He has an equally enthusiastic character as Eric, but he seems to like to mess with him. With a whoosh he has Mike's camera and is on his way Eric hot on his tail. I look after my self-exclaimed guide and look around confused for a moment. Shrugging I turn around the corner and go towards the door Eric pointed out for me before he made his hurried exit. I take my time exchanging pleasantries with the secretary before she hands me my schedule and sends me on my way. The lessons seem to take longer and longer each time I enter a classroom. The stars, whispers and introductions nearly getting too much for me. I duck my head after yet another student whispers about me behind my back and concentrate on the girl beside me. She has introduced herself as Jessica and seems to be intent on getting every little detail about my life written down in her memory. She informs me about all kind of rumours and tells me, that she is the best person to ask, if there is something you need to know about another student. I look at her a bit confused as her mouth never seems to take a break. Working non-stop to get all the words out of her system at once. I have stopped understanding her a few minutes ago, but she still goes on and on and on. Never seeming to realize, that I have stopped following her every word. I let my eyes wander again and find myself staring out of the window. Watching the rain drops drum against the glass of the window. I think about Angela a girl, who I have met in my last lesson. She seems really nice and understanding. I am sure I will get along with her just fine. She seems to be a happy person. I like that.

After the end of the class I make my way towards the cafeteria in a daze. Still lost in my thoughts I don't really pay attention to where I am going just follow Jessica around. I nearly bump into her as she stops near the line for the food. Waiting patiently for her turn to select her lunch. I look around the cafeteria looking for somebody I know. Nearly immediately Eric is by my side and waits for me to get my food before he drags me to a table full of the people I already met. He introduces me to them again before placing me in the seat next to him. But before he can sit Mike shoves his seat away and watches Eric fall onto the ground. Soon another chase starts and I look after them surprised.

As I feel somebody stare at me I turn my head and see the same people from this morning again. They seat at a table next to the window far away from the other students. I look over their faces again and notice the reddish haired one is staring at me again with the same frown as this morning in the parking lot.

"They are the Cullens" I hear Jessica say from beside me. "they are all family. Their father – Dr. Cullen – seems to like play match-maker and so put his adopted children into pairs. They red-brown haired one" she points at the one with the frown "is Edward Cullen. He is the only single. But don't get your hopes up" at this point she makes a face "he thinks he is too good for everyone." Probably he didn't accept her as his girlfriend. I nod to myself and wait for her to continue. "The one with the dark hair, who looks like a work out trainer is Emmet Cullen he is together with Rosalie Hale" She pointed at the beauty beside muscle guy. "The small girl with the short brown hair is Alice Cullen." She pointed at the girl, who firmly glared at me. "And beside her is Jasper Hale." She points to the guy next to the dark haired girl. I look in the direction in which she points and gasp. He has bright blond hair, which curl around his face. His face is flawless and pale. I find myself staring as I see his eyes. Oh he has such beautiful eyes. They are the color of honey. Sweet and alluring. They seem to drag me into their depths. As I lose myself in this captivating eyes. My whole body prickles as I focus only on him. Forgetting everything around me. This eyes. This beautiful, beautiful eyes. They are so familiar. So familiar. Yeah, I remember this eyes. This are the eyes of him. Yeah, his eyes. This are his eyes.

I can feel myself getting up as my feet automatically want to go in his direction. I have found him. I have finally found one of **them**. Finally! Finally we can be together! A grin spreads across my face and my hand automatically goes up, wants to touch him, to caress him. Oh how much I want him to touch me. To hug me. To tell me, that I will never be alone again. Never feel lonely again. That we will find the other one together.

That **we** will be together. Just me and them. For-

"He is together with Alice."

I freeze completely. Stop every movement my eyes still captivated within his. I stare at him. Pain filling my whole body. And I just want to break down. I want to sob and cry and say it's not true. I want to bang my head on the table and hope to never wake up again. But I can only stare. Stare at him and beg him with my eyes, that it's not true.

Oh please tell me you didn't do this. Tell me it's a lie. Please. Oh please. I can see him put his hand down on the table intending to stand up, but the girl beside him – Alice – puts her hand on his arm. He stops in this movement and looks at her. She says something. He nods slowly and stands up. When he has his back to her she looks at me. Her eyes crystal clear. Her eyes bore into mine before she nods her head and forms some words with her lips. Then she smiles devilish in my direction and turns toward him. She stands up too and walks out of the glass door of the cafeteria closing the door behind them. I can feel tears build behind my suddenly closed eyes as my mind replays her mouthed words over and over. I suppress a soft and stand up. I barely manage to form an apology towards the others before going out of the cafeteria. Her words replaying over and over again.

"_He is mine…. Mine…. Mine… Mine." I support myself against a wall as the words seem to rip my heart apart. I feel numb as tears roll down my cheeks. A silent sob shaking my whole body. Why? Why? Oh why? After I finally found you… why…? I thought __**we**__ could finally be together... I thought I could be whole again…_

_Don't you want me? Am I…not good enough? _


End file.
